Sketchy for the Savior

"Love bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.”

1 Corinthians 13:7

This Friday is Valentine’s Day, and I thought it would be appropriate here to share a quick story of love (or infatuation):

It all started with a friend’s offhand comment at our mission agency’s 1998 “Missionary Enrichment” conference in Pennsylvania. “Did you know,” she asked, “that a single girl was appointed as a missionary to Mongolia?”

I shook my head. First, I hadn’t known, and, second, I had my reservations concerning what sort of girl would go to Mongolia as a single missionary. I think my exact thoughts were, “Wow, she must just have given up hopes of marrying,” followed by the admittedly fleshly, “Hmm, she must not be very good looking.” I mean, well, I’d seen women who lived on the steppes. Those arctic climes are tough on the face.

But then my friend said, “Hold on, I have a biographical summary about her…” She started digging through some papers. “…and I think there’s a picture...”

She found what she was looking for and turned and handed me a sheet of paper. At the top was the picture of a pretty young lady with the words “Nicole Grizenko” printed in bold type below. There was also a paragraph summarizing her education and likes and dislikes. I read the paragraph, looked back up at the picture, and then thought something like, “Woo-hoo. Thank you, God!” I was sure He had sent her my way.

But that didn’t mean she knew He had sent her my way. So I started scheming: I would find and use every possible excuse to talk to her, and I would position myself in her path during the next days and weeks. It worked out something like this:

First, I called her (that very afternoon). I mentioned that I had heard she had been appointed to the field of Mongolia, and that, as a fellow-missionary to Mongolia, I thought it would be good for us to meet and talk about the field. Perhaps, I suggested, she was available that evening for dinner. And she agreed.

I picked her up for dinner and discovered she was bringing her roommate. (Very appropriate and all, but I’ll bet that roommate felt like a third-wheel.) Regardless, we talked, and I managed to steer the conversation into personal matters, even ‘happening’ to mention that I’d been to India and admired the way marriages (at times) could be arranged quickly. Subtle.

Second, the next day, I happened to ‘bump’ into her and her parents as they ate in the college cafeteria where the conference was being held. “Oh” – I feigned surprise – “it’s you. And these are your parents? Why, hello!” Of course, I had been watching for them, but I tried to make it look like a happenstance meeting. “Why, sure, yeah, I’d love to sit and… talk about Mongolia.”

Third, that evening, at her commissioning service, I ‘realized’ I should find her and get her phone number in North Carolina, just so we could keep talking about ‘field’ issues. And so I did. (I knew she was scheduled to leave the conference the next morning.)

Fourth, the next night, I called her in North Carolina because I ‘remembered’ that I had some Mongolian souvenirs that she might find useful as she prepared to visit churches and start raising support. (That call lasted a couple of hours.)

Fifth, the following evening, I called her again because I had ‘forgotten’ a few important things. (Another several hour phone call.)

And, sixth, the following evening, I called her again and couldn’t come up with an excuse. So I just got down to the heart of the matter and asked her if she’d be interested in getting married. Aww. Not so subtle, but effective.

Isn’t that a nice story? I should add that she said she’d marry me if her parents agreed. I called them that weekend and they gave me their blessing. (Go figure.) And we were officially engaged a couple weeks later when I put a ring on her finger. We married in 1999 and just celebrated 15 years of wedded bliss. (Do you feel nauseous yet?)

Yep, that’s our story. But I had a reason for telling it, other than just being sappy.

Last Sunday, I was talking with a bunch of guys about evangelism, and we were discussing the idea of being “contagious” witnesses. We talked about our friendships and considered the opportunities our current social networks give us for presenting the Gospel. Many of us admitted that we didn’t have many friends who were non-believers. And, even those of us who did have non-believing friends, were forced to admit that our relationships with them have often not been particularly redemptive (meaning Gospel-centered). So I challenged them, and myself, to be intentional and strategic in developing redemptive relationships with non-believers.

We talked about this concept, and as we got down to practicalities, I found myself saying things like, “Well, see if you can maneuver yourself to arrive in the lunch line at the same time as that non-believer,” and “perhaps you could just ‘happen’ to show up at the place where he exercises or works,” and “maybe you could find out what sports he likes and start participating in them.”

It didn’t take long until someone made the obvious comment: “That sounds a bit sketchy.”

Sketchy? Well, yeah, I guess it could. It does seem a bit ‘stalker-ish,’ doesn’t it? And I had to pause and think about that for a moment.

Then the obvious hit me. There wasn’t a guy there who wasn’t willing to act a bit ‘stalkerish’ to win the girl of his dreams. We would all be willing to venture out of our comfort zone, position ourselves near her, and find (or create) opportunities to talk with her. Just like I did with Nicole. That’s what guys have done since the beginning of time. They’ve pursued.

Sure, pursuit of a girl can get sketchy. When the girl rejects the guy (“As I’ve told you ever so many times, I like you, but I don’t like you like you.”), he needs to accept reality and move on. If he keeps pestering her, or papers his room with her picture and continues sending her unwanted letters and poems, then he’s over the top. Lighten up, dude, it’s weird. But between the poles of indifference and sketchiness lies appropriate pursuit.

Today I want to suggest to you that we need to embrace pursuit as an ongoing part of our Christian lives. The pursuit of the unsaved is the commission our Lord gave us when He said, “Make disciples!” and it is non-negotiable. We are to be fishers-of-men.

I fear that we Christians are sometimes so afraid of appearing ‘sketchy’ in the eyes of the world that we assume an outward appearance of indifference toward the nonbeliever and his fate. We stand aloof and pray for the person without taking the risk of initiating contact and presenting Christ. We act like an infatuated boy who longs for a girl but is never courageous enough to express his love, whose fear of rejection prevents him from boldly pursuing his greatest desire, permitting the girl to pass by without ever knowing his interest. Now, if the boy never wins the girl of his dreams because he was scared, that’s sad. But if a Christian never testifies to his neighbor concerning the Risen Lord, that’s tragic!

We Christians must risk rejection and express our love for our non-believing neighbors. We must risk appearing ‘sketchy’ and ‘stalkerish’ in our pursuit of the lost. And as we do, we have the promise of God’s Word that there are some who will respond. We will not only encounter rejection. We will find those He’s called. And there will be great joy as we witness others come to know and love the Lord. That joy will be as great as the joy I experienced when I realized, ultimately, Nicole returned my affections. And, maybe, no, probably, it will be even greater.

Let’s pursue the unsaved!

“I have become all things to all men,

that I might by all means save some.”

1 Corinthians 9:22b

                                                              -- Christian Pilet